There are times when I feel I just get stuck…like I can’t quite move forward with things. You know the one, when you find yourself procrastinating, making excuses and generally feel disconnected or distracted from your goals. You can see what you want but it seems a bit out of reach, or the time/commitment required to get there feels a bit too overwhelming. This could include a work project or new healthy routine you’ve been meaning to get on with or a creative block…like me getting on with writing this blog lol.
There are many reasons and causes for this stuck-ness, and some of the ideas I’m going to share will probably not shift much for you if you are depressed, grieving or have any mental health issues. However, if your blocks or stuck-ness are not deeply embedded or chronic, then there’s always something you can do to move forward – if you want to.
Not surprisingly, coaches encourage people to take action, because in action, there is movement and the possibility of change. After all, we all know that repeating the same patterns and behaviours over and over again gets us nowhere fast.
“By changing nothing, nothing changes.” Tony Robbins
So, if we understand that we need to be in action to shift things in our lives, what are some of the ways we can do this? I’d love to say to you, ‘well all you have to do is this one thing….and your life will be sorted’… But that would be a lie. Often, it’s the cumulative effect of small but consistent steps that help shift behaviours, habits and mind-sets. So here are a few tips to get you started.
1. You’re better than you think you are
A lack of self-belief in yourself can really hold you back. Making yourself small, or belittling yourself, or focusing only on your flaws rather than strengths can stop you from moving forward with your life. Maybe you find yourself more concerned with pleasing others before yourself. Perhaps you feel you are not capable on some level. However, you must start to see and feel that YOU are worth your love and attention. You are valid. You have a place in this world. Your thinking can get the better of you, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something about it. Start choosing different, more empowering thoughts about yourself. You do deserve better; you are worth your love and self-care. Spend a few moments every day to tell yourself this – even 60 seconds a day can make a positive impact. If you nourish yourself, you are also in a better place to help others. Mantras and positive affirmations can be powerful. Find one that resonates with you, even if at first you don’t ‘believe’ it. For example:
“I am worthy.”
“I am enough.”
“I surround myself with good things, and positive people.”
“Transformation is not five minutes from now; it’s a present activity. In this moment you can make a different choice, and it’s these small choices and successes that build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self-esteem.” —Jillian Michaels
2. You can change
“A leopard can’t change its spots” is a phrase we sometimes hear when people talk about not being able to alter behaviours. Well, that’s just a myth and I believe, and have witnessed that we can indeed change and shift for the better. You can literally re-programme your thinking. And you can make changes in your life. You have more choice that you realise. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is possible. Each day, each moment is a brand-new opportunity to shift. Sometimes that means letting go: of a relationship, or work or people that don’t fit with who you are any more. And other times that means releasing an idea, or belief that no longer serves you. Letting go can be a hard thing to do – particularly love, anger or grief. Creating alternatives, motivating yourself with new goals, viewing your experiences with new perspectives can all help you move forward and change for the better.
Let go, and you grow.